The Showdown: Bridezilla vs. the MOB

Posted by southerncelebrations on October 4, 2011 · 2 Comments 

Sounds like a horror movie, doesn’t it? Well believe me, the horrifying truth is that some weddings end up in disaster. I don’t just mean those tiny details that get lost or are left undone, or insignificant errors that are inevitable…I’m talking about complete wedding meltdown. It happens. And usually there are two main culprits.

The Bridezilla:

For some reason that I’ll never understand, WE tv decided to create a show about Bridezillas. And for some reason, Americans keep watching spoiled self-involved girls make their wedding day a living hell for everyone else involved. Don’t ask me why this show is popular because I simply cannot wrap my brain around it. What I do know is these brides do exist…but they are few and far between.

How is a bridezilla birthed? She simply does not exist in nature…she is a creation of man.

Every bride wants her wedding to be perfect. The problem comes when that demand for perfection takes over what’s supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

Here are some simple strategies to restore your chi and help you discover if you are a Bridezilla or not:

• Look deep down inside yourself and find out why you are getting married. If your answer is anything other than because you love this person more than anything else in the world…maybe you should call it off.
• Love should be unconditional. This should be true for  your parents, bridesmaids, and fiance. Unconditional love means you love them no matter what and not if they do this or that for you.
• Yes, it is your day. No, it is not all about you. You are the bride so everyone’s attention will be on you no matter what. But this wedding is a culmination of your parents and grandparents’ lives as well. Same thing for your fiance’s family and your friends. They share in your day and your enjoyment.
• If you want your wedding to be only about you…ELOPE. Spare us the wedding dramatics, please.
• You cannot control everyone and everything. Problems will arise. Children will cry during your vows. It will rain. Your limo will get a flat tire. The minister will drop your rings. Your soloist will lose her voice the day of your wedding, and the best man will drink too much and strip on the dance floor. ALL of these things could happen and guess what? YOU WILL STILL BE MARRIED! If this is not your goal, then quit now.

 

 The other person who can ruin a wedding is the Mother of the Bride:

We know you’ve been dreading this moment since you gave birth to a daughter. Your love for her compares to no other. And it’s ok to believe that no one will ever be good enough for her, just don’t say this out loud. If there’s a show dedicated to Bridezillas, there is also one for Mothers of the Bride. It’s called “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Don’t believe me? Watch an episode and look at Ray’s mother, Marie. She’s impossible. Everything is always about her and no one can ever do enough for her. She is manipulative and intrusive…everything a good Mother of the Bride shouldn’t be. Take some hints from Marie and evaluate your own personality.

• Why do you want your daughter to have a wonderful wedding? Is it to impress your friends? Is it to impress your future in-laws by showing them you have the money to spend on a plated dinner and fancy ballroom? If it is any other reason than for your daughter to be happy…you need to snap out of it.
• Same advice goes for you as it does for the Bridezilla. Love is unconditional. This means you love your daughter and you love her choice in mates, and it means your love his family. Period.
• This is your daughter’s day. You should share in her joy and in all the moments throughout while maintaining a solid background presence. Help your daughter remember that there are others involved in the wedding day and set a good example by shining in the role of hostess.
• It’s ok to cry and be emotional. This is an emotional day for you and it is perfectly fine to show it. Just don’t flaunt your tears and hysterics for the congregation to see and hear. Again, remain a background piece.
• You cannot control everything either. Things will go wrong before, during and after the wedding. Just as your daughter has always had problems, she will continue to have them in her new life with her new spouse. Remain calm. Remain strong for her. Deal with problems that she wants you to deal with and nothing more. The best you can offer is to be there for her whenever she needs you.

It is hard for people to admit when they are wrong. I think it’s part of being human. This is another reason why I’d recommend a wedding planner. This way, you can relieve yourself from the potentially unpleasant position of telling a Mother of the Bride to chill out or a Bridezilla to relax. This is part of the wedding planner’s job. And a good one won’t care if she’s the “bad guy”.An important thing to remember is that everyone’s on the same side. Everyone wants the wedding to be beautiful and a success. You want to have a terrific time and you want your guests to as well. So take a deep breath and let everything go. You can’t control everything so don’t try to. Relax and enjoy each moment (even if it’s the moment when the groom’s grandmother does the Macarena on the dance floor) and smile…because it will all be over before you even know it.

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Filed under Benefits of hiring a wedding planner · Tagged with Bride, Bridesmaid, Bridezilla, Etiquette, Family, Help and Advice, List of wedding ceremony participants, MOB, Mother of the Bride, North Carolina wedding, Planning, Stress-free brides, Wedding, Wedding Etiquette, Wedding Planner, Weddings